Yumotaro and CIDER Island
by Fortune Maiden
Summary: In which a little boy born from an onigiri teams up with a wombat, a hedgehog and a shoebill to defeat the evil Loveless on CIDER Island. Or, in which the Defense Club spends a rainy afternoon telling fairy tales.


**Yumotaro and CIDER Island**

 _In which a little boy born from an onigiri teams up with a wombat, a hedgehog and a shoebill to defeat the evil Loveless on CIDER Island._

 _Or, in which the Defense Club spends a rainy afternoon telling fairy tales._

* * *

 _Quick note: I'm using the acronym CIDER (for 'Can I Destroy Earth Returns) instead of CIDE, because CIDE Island just doesn't sound as good._

* * *

The story began on a rainy afternoon. It was a school day just like any other, only unlike every other school day that week, it was Tuesday. Tuesdays at Binan High School were special, because those were the days when the Defense Club went to Kurotama after their club activities. Sometimes, if there was nothing to do, and they were all bored enough, they would cut their club time short and proceed to the Bathhouse early. With the rain pelting relentlessly at the window making everyone feel sleepy and sullen, it would have been a good day to leave early. But on the other side of the clubroom wall, the Student Council scribbled away at their paperwork, so the Defense Club stayed where they were to wait for them.

It didn't change the fact that they were utterly bored. And in their utter boredom, they set aside their usual activities in favor of small talk. And somehow, that small talk turned to the topic of fairy tales.

"I'm just saying," En waved his hands around indignantly, "When we hear these stories as children, there's something exciting and magical about them. But looking at them now…"

"That's just what growing up is," Io picked up smoothly, "Looking at them now, you just realize that the world isn't such a nice place, and simply being nice to old women in forests isn't going to bring you riches."

"But the moral of that," said Atsushi, "is that you should be kind to others regardless. Kindness is supposed to be its own reward."

"You say that Kinugawa-senpai, but kind guys in fairy tales tend to end up living the high life with their soulmates," Ryuu grinned, "Though you can't say there isn't something romantic about things like a "True Love's Kiss"."

"Oh, oh! My favorite fairy tale is—

"Actually you can," En spoke over Yumoto, "That kind of thing is a modern invention. If you look at some of the original stories, they don't have any of that. Snow White wakes up because the apple is dislodged from her throat when her coffin is moved. The Frog Prince is thrown against the wall. And the original Sleeping Beauty—

"Question," Wombat suddenly raised his paw, "What are all of these morbid children's stories you are speaking of?"

"Wom-san, you don't know what fairy tales are?" Yumoto asked squeezing the alien closer to him.

"I do not."

"Well, they're pretty much what we've been saying," En said, "Stories for kids."

"Princes, magic, talking animals; that kind of thing," Io listed off, and then grimaced at his list's painful irony.

"They're generally supposed to have some sort of moral attached as well," Atsushi added.

"No one really cares about that though," Ryuu muttered, "But yeah, what the others said. Basically, old stories that have been passed down for ages. Everyone knows them."

"How fascinating!" Wombat's eyes glowed with excitement.

"Wom-san you don't have fairy tales on your planet? What kind of things do you tell your kids?" Yumoto asked.

"Of course, we have stories of our own," Wombat explained, "Such as "How the #*$U # got its slits." It's a much beloved classic."

"Sounds… unique," Io remarked, wondering what a #*$U # was supposed to be.

"But never mind that, I, for one, would love to hear one of these well-known Earth fairy tales."

"Huh? Right now?" Atsushi asked.

"That sounds like a pain," En groaned.

"Okay," Yumoto agreed happily.

"Hey, don't agree for all of us," Ryuu snapped at him.

"Why not? It'll be fun," Yumoto insisted, "I'll tell most of the story anyway."

"Do you already have one in mind?" Io asked.

"Yep, "Momotaro." It's my favorite!"

"Works for me," En shrugged, "If it's Wombat's first Earth fairy tale, it should be something local anyway."

"It's settled then!" Yumoto freed Wombat, allowing the pink alien to get comfortable on the desks. He then pulled up a chair for himself and cleared his throat.

* * *

Once upon a time, in a little far off village, there lived a young couple. Though they loved each other's company very much, the couple was sad because they couldn't have any children.

One day, one of them went out into the forest to chop wood, and the other went down to the river to do the laundry. As he did the laundry, something strange happened. The largest, most delicious-looking onigiri ever came floating down the river, riding on a leaf.

"Why is there an onigiri floating in the river?" Atsushi asked himself, catching it as it drifted past him. He carefully turned it over in his hands, "It looks delicious though. I'll take it home to share it with En-chan."

And so he did. When En came home after a long day of chopping wood, he found the onigiri waiting for him on the table.

"Atsushi, what's this?" he asked.

"It's an onigiri, En-chan," he answered, "I found it floating down the river today. I was waiting for you to come home, so we could share it."

They smiled at each other warmly. But when they turned to the onigiri on the table, they saw that it was shaking slightly. The onigiri shook more and more, until finally it broke in two and where the filling was supposed to be, there was a little boy!

"Hello," said the little boy, "I was sent down from Heaven to be your son."

The couple was overjoyed. They named the child Yumo—

* * *

"W-w-w-w-w-w-wait a minute!" Atsushi finally cried out, his crimson face getting redder with each stuttered syllable, "W-what is with this casting?"

Yumoto stopped and tilted his head, taking in his friends' wide eyes. "What's wrong with it?"

"What do you mean "what's wrong with it"?" Ryuu snapped, "Isn't this supposed to be "Momotaro"?"

"For starters, why was the peach replaced with an onigiri, of all things?" Io frowned.

"Yeah, _that's_ the problem," En muttered.

"Never mind that! Why are En-chan and I…" Atsushi trailed off when he caught En's stare, and forced himself to calm down, "If you're going to cast someone into the role of your parents, wouldn't Gora-san be the better choice?"

"Huh? But An-chan is An-chan," Yumoto said as if this were the most obvious thing in the world, "I thought this would make the story more relatable."

" _Relatable!?_ "

"So what you're saying is that there is a couple whose love is as pure and intense as Yufuin-san and Kinugawa-san's that Heaven itself sent them a child," tears formed in Wombat's eyes, "How beautiful."

"See, Wom-san gets it!"

"That just makes it even more questionable," Atsushi grumbled averting his gaze.

"Now, now," En, ever the peacemaker, spoke up, "Yumoto's the storyteller, so he's allowed to embellish things a bit." It was clear from his smirk that he was enjoying this. Whether "this" was the story or Atsushi's reaction was debatable though.

"Casting us as a married couple is going too far. And since when do you chop wood?"

"Seeing as the narration didn't explicitly say I brought any home, I'm going to assume I was simply napping by a tree all day."

Atsushi gave him a dour look. "So that's how it is then. I do all the work, and you laze around all day."

"Aw, don't be like that," En teased, "I'm sure I help out somehow."

As the married couple continued their back and forth, Ryuu leaned closer to Yumoto and whispered, "On second thought, your casting was spot on."

"Riiiight?" Yumoto agreed, "Atsushi-senpai, I'm continuing now."

"Huh? Oh—

"Yumoto," En suddenly said in a stern tone, "Don't talk to your mother like that. You should call him Ma—OW!"

The sudden pain in his shin shut En up quickly. Atsushi turned to Yumoto with a pleasant smile, "Go ahead, Yumoto."

"If I may suggest one improvement though, you should stick to narrating and let Yufuin-senpai and Kinugawa-senpai provide their own dialogue," Io suggested with a smirk.

"Seconded!" Ryuu quickly raised his hand.

"'Kay."

* * *

Showered with the couple's love, Yumotaro grew up strong and healthy, and very spirited. In fact he was the strongest, healthiest and most spirited boy in the village.

The village was not a very strong, healthy or spirited place. It had no time to be. For many months it was heavily ravaged by the evil Loveless. The Loveless were led by the fearsome Caerula Adamas who resided in a faraway place called CIDER Island. The villagers were at their mercy, but they clung to the hope that, someday, someone would put a stop to Caerula Adamas' treachery.

As Yumotaro grew, his abilities were noticed by all of the villagers. Now faced with this great peril, they knew that he was to be the one to save them. They elected two representatives, Io and Ryuu, and sent them to the young couple's home at the top of the mountain to convince Yumotaro to travel to CIDER Island and defeat the leaders of the Loveless.

"Ah, so we're dragged into this too," Ryuu sighed heavily, on the way to the couple's home.

"It's only fair, I suppose," Io remarked, "Here we are now." Io knocked on the door. "Yumotaro, are you home? We've come from the village to request your services."

It was Atsushi who opened the door, and let the villagers in. They found Yumotaro stretched out on the back porch, loafing around.

"Yumotaro," Ryuu said, "I'm sure you already know this, but the village is being ravaged by the Loveless. We need you to go to CIDER Island and defeat them."

"I don't wanna," was Yumotaro's reply, "I'm tired. I want to sleep."

Startled, Io and Ryuu turned to Atsushi, who sighed sheepishly. "It's his father's fault," he said, and at once they understood.

"Somehow, I'm not surprised," Ryuu whispered to Io.

"Spare the rod, and spoil the child."

"So now what?"

"Improvise," Io shrugged. He turned to Yumotaro once more. "Yumotaro, I have heard from a very reliable source, that on CIDER Island, there is a hidden treasure; an entire trove of blue diamonds. If you defeat Caerula Adamas, the treasure will be yours."

But Yumotaro was not convinced.

"Yumotaro," Ryuu said next, "If you defeat the Loveless and save the village, girls will line up at your door. You'll be their beloved hero."

But Yumotaro was not convinced.

Ryuu and Io turned to Atsushi for help.

"Any ideas?" Ryuu asked.

"He's your son."

"Ah, well," Atsushi considered the situation carefully, "Let's wait for En-chan to come home."

When En returned from another day of chopping wood, Ryuu and Io explained the problem to him.

"Gotcha," said En, "Leave this to me." He walked over to the back porch, where Yumoto was still stretched out lazily, and said, "Yumotaro, if you defeat the Loveless on CIDER Island, Atsushi will cook a large feast just for you."

And Yumotaro was convinced.

To the village's great relief, he promised to defeat all of the Loveless and began preparations for his journey.

"Yumotaro, here, have some kibi-dango for the road," Atsushi said warmly.

"Actually, can I have curry instead?" Yumotaro said, "Oh and lots and lots of onigiri?"

"Er… yeah, that's fine, I guess," Atsushi said, though his tone was unsure, "And some kibi-dango?"

Yumotaro thought it over. "Can we make it hanami dango instead?"

Atsushi sighed. "Hanami it is."

Armed with a wooden sword, a satchel of onigiri, a small pot of curry, and three sticks of hanami dango, Yumotaro began his journey to CIDER Island.

* * *

Silence enveloped the Earth Defense Clubroom, and four pairs of eyes stared pointedly at the story teller.

"Is it me or did our Momotaro turn out to be a pain in the ass?" Ryuu said.

"It's to be expected," Io remarked, "He was spoiled rotten by Kinugawa-senpai, after all."

"Why is it only my fault?" Atsushi frowned, "What about En-chan?"

"Don't look at me; I just chop wood all day!" En leaned back in his chair.

"Total father and son over here," Ryuu mused, "But you know, this pain in the ass Momotaro is getting on my nerves. Momotaro's supposed to be a great heroic go-getter."

"Actually," En sat up normally. His tone told the others to prepare for incoming trivia. "In older versions of the story, Momotaro really was a lazy brat who had to be forced into saving his village. The current noble, heroic image is a result of the powers that be wanting Momotaro to be a good role model for kids."

Atsushi, Io and Ryuu shared a look as they thought it over. Before Yumoto picked up the story again, Io voiced their mutual thought.

"So which version did you read as a child, Yufuin-senpai?"

* * *

The road to CIDER Island was long, and soon Yumotaro grew tired. Furthermore he found it very lonely by himself. He found a rock to sit down on, and decided to eat the curry Atsushi made for him. Before he started eating though, a pink wombat suddenly appeared before him.

* * *

"Hold on," Ryuu interrupted, "You can't just change Momotaro's animal companions like that!"

"Why not?"

"Because they're iconic!"

"The peach and kibi-dango are also iconic," Io pointed out, "We didn't object there."

"Yeah, but… what's a wombat doing in ancient Japan anyway?"

En snorted. "What's _curry_ doing in ancient Japan, Ryuu? If we can have curry, we can have a wombat. Besides, look." He gestured to the pink alien on the table, whose eyes had lit up the moment he'd been mentioned in the story.

"I can take part in this story too?" Wombat asked Yumoto. When the first year nodded happily, Wombat raised his paw in a salute. "I'll do my best!"

"He doesn't even know the story," Ryuu pointed out, "Is this really going to be okay?"

"Maybe we could give him silent cues or something?" Atsushi wondered, "Ah Yumoto, before you continue; just out of curiosity, are you going to cast Zundar and Hireashi as the other two?"

"You'll see."

* * *

As soon as Yumotaro saw the wombat, he rushed to cuddle it.

"My what soft fur you have," Yumotaro exclaimed and pressed his face into the pink wombat's side, nuzzling it against his cheek, "I'm taking you with me to CIDER Island! Then I won't be lonely anymore!"

"My instincts tell me not to go with you!" Wombat struggled to break free of the crushing grip.

But Yumotaro was insistent. "Then, then, if you agree to join me, I'll share some of my curry with you!"

"Curry?"

Yumotaro held up the small pot. Wombat sniffed the contents, and his face lit up.

"Very well!" he said. Together, they devoured the curry and continued on their way.

Even with Wombat at his side, with cuddles limited to once a day, Yumotaro soon grew tired again. Furthermore, he had no idea how far away CIDER Island was. He found a tree stump to sit on, and decided to eat the onigiri Atsushi made for him. Before he and Wombat started eating though, a blue shoebill, named Bill, suddenly appeared before them.

* * *

"Why a shoebill?" Atsushi suddenly interrupted.

"Remember that bird we saw in that clip of An-chan's days as a Battle Lover? That's Bill."

"Bill the Shoebill?" Io raised a brow.

"It's a good name!" Yumoto said proudly, "Oh Atsushi-senpai, can you provide the voice for him?"

"Um, alright," Atsushi agreed reluctantly.

"And En-chan-senpai, you voice the third animal!"

"Yeah, why not," En replied, knowing full well that arguing was pointless anyway.

* * *

As soon as Yumotaro saw the shoebill, he rushed to cuddle it.

"My what sleek feathers you have," Yumotaro exclaimed and brushed the shoebill's wing with his fingers, "I'm taking you with me to CIDER Island! Then I'll know how far away the island is!"

"I must decline," Bill flapped his large wings to break free of Yumotaro's grip and stepped away.

But Yumotaro was insistent. "Then, then, if you agree to join me, I'll share some of my onigiri with you!"

"Onigiri?"

Yumotaro held up his satchel. The shoebill considered it and nodded.

"Very well." Yumotaro, Wombat and Bill devoured the onigiri, and again they were on their way.

However, even with Wombat to keep him from getting lonely, and Bill to keep track of CIDER Island from the skies, Yumotaro soon grew tired again. He found a small garden to sit in and decided to eat the hanami dango Atsushi made for him. Before he, Wombat and Bill could start eating though, a green hedgehog suddenly appeared before him.

As soon as Yumotaro saw it, he rushed to cuddle it.

"OW! My what sharp needles you have," Yumoto exclaimed and pat his stinging cheek sheepishly, "I'm taking you to CIDER Island with me! Because you're small and cute!"

"No." Zundar's nose twitched as he spoke.

But Yumotaro was insistent. "Then, then, if you agree to join me, I'll share some of my hanami dango with you!"

"I want escargot," Zundar replied without missing a beat.

"What's that?" Yumotaro frowned and turned to Bill.

"Snails," Bill glared at Zundar as he spoke.

"Oh," Yumotaro considered it, "If I find some snails for you, will you join me?"

"Very well."

And so, Yumotaro, Wombat and Bill spent the whole day searching for snails in the garden. When they were done, Zundar had a feast all to himself. After he devoured all of the snails, he, Wombat, Bill and Yumotaro were on their way.

The journey was long and difficult, but finally they arrived at CIDER Island. The island was empty except for a large ominous castle. Before them stood a large brass gate. Yumotaro hid in a nearby bush and examined it carefully.

"Bill can you fly over the gate and unlock it from the inside?" Yumotaro asked.

"I'll do my best," Bill replied took off. Though he was able to fly over the gate, he did not remain undetected. The Loveless spotted him and attacked. At that moment Yumotaro jumped out of the bushes with Wombat and revealed himself to the Loveless. The monsters abandoned their interest in Bill and opened the gate themselves.

Yumotaro fought them off with his sword, Wombat bat them with his paws, and Bill pecked at them. When all of the Loveless were on the ground, they proceeded to the castle. Zundar tailed behind them, twitching his nose at the monsters in disgust.

"Now then, let's see," Yumotaro said, "Caerula Adamas should be at the top of the castle."

"We'll have to fight a lot of Loveless is we force our way through though," Bill pointed out.

"That would be a pain," Zundar remarked.

"What are you saying!" Wombat cried out, "It is our duty to defeat all of the treacherous Loveless terrorizing the poor innocent villagers! Yumotaro, did you not promise to do so!"

"Yeah, but… if I fight _everyone_ , I'll be an old man by the time I'm done," Yumoto pouted, "There needs to be a better way to reach Caerula Adamas."

"But—

"I got it!" Yumoto declared, "We'll pretend to be captured. The Loveless will then take us to their leaders!"

"Won't the logical course of action be to just kill us?" Bill asked.

"Just leave everything to me."

The heroes wandered around the castle for a bit until they found a couple of loveless, a screw monster and a melon monster. They fought them off for a bit before pretending to lose, before the monsters could kill them though, Yumotaro suddenly laughed.

"What do you think will happen if you lowly Loveless kill us here? Nothing! No one will believe you. But if you takes us to your bosses, you can claim credit for capturing us, " The Loveless eyed them suspiciously. Then Zundar spoke up.

"Take us to your leaders," the tiny hedgehog thundered, "Now!"

His loud bellow left no room for argument and at once, the two Loveless dragged Yumotaro and his companions up to Caerula Adamas' throne room.

* * *

The clubroom grew quiet. Everyone turned to Yumoto, who wore an uncharacteristic pensive frown.

"What's wrong?" Atsushi asked, "Writer's block?"

"This story _is_ getting more off-track by the minute," Ryuu added.

"No, I know where I'm going with this," Yumoto looked at Io and Ryuu thoughtfully, "I was casting."

"Casting?"

"Caerula Adamas," Yumoto told them, "I had to think it over carefully."

"You're actually putting thought into this?" the remark slipped from Io's mouth.

"Or course! It's for Wom-san, after all!" Yumoto replied, "Okay, I got it. Ryuu-senpai will be Akoya-senpai, Wom-san will be Arima-senpai, and Io-senpai will be Kin-chan-senpai!"

"So much for putting thought into it," En whispered to Atsushi.

"Yeah, those are probably the obvious casting choices in this case," he agreed.

"Oh yeah, En-chan-senpai," Yumoto suddenly jumped from his chair and ran over to the third year, and whispered something into his ear. The others watched as En's face morphed into a peeved frown.

"Seriously?" he asked, "Do I have to?"

"Yes!" Yumoto insisted, "And make it exciting."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll ham it up," En promised with a sigh, and waved Yumoto away.

Satisfied, Yumoto returned to his seat, and resumed the story.

* * *

The throne room was located at the highest floor of the castle, and it contained three thrones, one for each of the members of Caerula Adamas.

"Now what have we here?" the youngest, Perlite, said, "What is this unbeautiful trash sullying our throne room?"

"Aurite," said the second Chevalier, Argent, quickly "What should we do with them?"

"What a pointless question?" the leader, Aurite, snapped, "Do away with them quickly."

But before the Loveless could attack, Yumotaro and his companions broke free of their restraints and fought back. As they'd only used a little of their strength before pretending to surrender, they were easily able to fight of the Loveless.

However, their strength was not unlimited. Though they were able to defeat the Loveless, Caerula Adamas remained. They, who claimed to be the true leaders of the blue world, were formidable opponents, and the exhausted Yumotaro stood little chance against one of them, let alone three! One by one, Yumotaro and his companions fell. Aurite approached Yumotaro and held his sword to his throat.

"Any last words," he sneered.

"Yes," Yumotaro replied, "Why? Why do you send out Loveless to terrorize the villagers?"

"Because, we rule this world," Aurite replied, "The world is meant to be ruled by the those with power."

"And the beautiful," Perlite added.

"You're wrong!" Yumotaro felt a sudden surge of strength, and knocked back Kinshiro's sword with his own, "The world is meant to be ruled by Love!"

"Yes!" Wombat cried out in agreement.

"You three are just acting all high and mighty!" Yumotaro argued, each of his blows getting stronger. The Heavens themselves responded to his determination and refreshed his energy, "All around you are Loveless, so you've never even known what Love is! Well feel this!" Yumotaro's strength was unparalleled. Even with Argent and Perlite's help, Aurite couldn't fight off his blows. Before long the once mighty and terrific Caerula Adamas were a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Now then," Yumotaro dusted off his hands proudly, "Not so powerful now are you?"

"I—

"Pathetic!" Zundar suddenly roared, "And here I thought you three would be stronger than this! To think my Loveless followed you for so long!"

"Zundar?" Bill exclaimed.

"What are you saying?" Perlite frowned.

"Are you not one of Yumotaro's companions?" Aurite said.

"I am not!" Zundar declared to a chorus of a gasps, " _I_ am the _true_ leader of the Loveless! They are created by my needles and _I_ am the one who commands them!"

"But then… what are we?"

" _You_ were pathetic thorns who thought you could rule the world. Your strength and charisma may have made the Loveless listen to you for a while, but now that Yumotaro has finally defeated you, _I_ will be taking back my army and unleashing it on all of Japan!" Zundar laughed loudly and evilly.

Caerula Adamas were shocked.

"How… unexpected," Aurite muttered.

"He's certainly enjoying all the evil gloating," Perlite rolled his eyes.

"That dastardly fiend!" Argent cried passionately, "He won't get away with this!"

* * *

"Oi oi, Wombat! What are you doing to Arima's character?"

"Is this not how Arima-san would react in this most foul of situations?"

"No!" Four voices snapped.

"Does it matter? Stop interrupting!" Yumoto pouted.

* * *

"Zundar, how could you betray me?" Yumotaro cried, "After I dug up all of those snails for you!"

"You, my little Yumotaro, were my most convenient pawn. So naïve and trusting," Zundar mocked, "I must thank you for ridding my island of these unpleasant thorns. Your reward will be a swift and merciful death!" Zundar launched his needles at Yumotaro. However at that moment, Wombat and Bill jumped in front of him to defend him.

"No, Wom-san, Bill!" Yumotaro cried and knelt in front of his true companions, "Why would you do that!"

"Because we love you, Yumotaro!" Wombat told him, "Though you cuddle me all the time, you are a good boy, and you must defeat that dreadful Zundar!"

"Yes," Bill agreed weakly, "We'll be alright."

Zundar laughed at the scene. Now Yumotaro knew that he had to defeat this hedgehog. But the strength that had powered his sword was now gone; he was too shaken by this betrayal.

Behind him, the three members of Caerula Adamas were also shaken. Shaken by their terrible behavior.

"This is most unbeautiful," Perlite said.

"We were such fools," Aurite lamented, "And now we have nothing." Argent said nothing.

Yumotaro, unable to listen anymore, turned to them with sad eyes. "Do you guys truly regret what you did? Are you willing to change your ways?"

"What's the point?" Perlite remarked, "The hedgehog's going to destroy us all anyway."

"So this is the fate of those without Love," Argent sighed.

"Don't say that," Yumotaro told them, and took out the three sticks of hanami dango he still had, "Here, have some. My mo— _parent_ made them with lots of love. And look, they match your hair."

The three chevaliers eyed the dango suspiciously, and cautiously took a bite. It was the most delicious dango they had ever eaten in their lives. At once they could feel their hearts grow three sizes, and their strength returning.

"Now then," Yumoto smiled knowingly, "Are you willing to change your ways?"

"We are!" the three of them declared and drew their swords once more, pointing them at Zundar.

Aided by the reformed Caerula Adamas, Yumotaro began his battle against Zundar. The evil hedgehog threw Loveless after Loveless at them, but they were a tireless force, defeating everyone with ease. Zundar supply of needles soon grew thin, and he could no longer continue fighting. He surrendered then, promising to do no more evil.

Yumotaro stayed on CIDER Island until Wombat and Bill recovered from their injuries, and then they, along with Caerula Adamas and the blue diamonds of CIDER Island, returned to the village as heroes.

Zundar was kept in a cage and denied snails for the rest of his life. Everyone else lived happily ever after.

* * *

"The end," Yumoto finished with a proud smile. The smile faded though the moment he saw his friends' dropped jaws. "What's wrong?"

No one spoke up right away. They all glanced at one another warily, hoping someone else would speak first.

That someone turned out to be En.

"Well… it was _sorta_ accurate, I guess?"

"No it wasn't!" Ryuu immediately snapped, "What was that ending? No matter how you look at it, that wasn't "Momotaro"!"

"It was certainly… unique?" Atsushi offered, "And Yumoto's storytelling was pretty engaging. What do you think, Wombat?"

To their surprise, the alien was sobbing. "It's wonderful! Wonderful!" he cried, "Such a gripping, moving story. Earth culture is truly wonderful!"

Io grimaced. "Well, as long as the intended audience liked it?"

"It still wasn't "Momotaro" though," Ryuu reminded them.

"Whatever. It wasn't too bad, whatever it was," En added.

"En-chan, you looked like you were really enjoying yourself at the end."

"Did I?"

"Yes, your acting was really passionate," Io chuckled.

"And hammy," Ryuu added, "But I think I did a great job with Gero too. I sounded just like him."

"So you did," Io agreed with a smile.

"Well…?" Yumoto's grin stretched from ear to ear, as he awaited more praise.

Atsushi obliged. "It was a good story, Yumoto. I don't think I'll be forgetting it, at any rate."

The others murmured their agreements. Their chatter died down and a brief silence occupied the clubroom.

"Let's do Princess Kaguya's story next!"

* * *

On the other side of the clubroom wall, Kinshiro signed his last form, Akoya did his last calculation, and Ibushi put away the last stack of papers.

"We're finally done," Akoya sighed happily and stretched out on the couch.

"And it stopped raining too," Ibushi nodded at the window. The sky was still overcast, but there was no more loud pelts against the window.

"I am looking forward to a long soak in the hot spring," Kinshiro said, "I'll inform the others that we're ready now."

He walked over to the connecting door, and opened it slightly. Before he could announce himself though, voices from the clubroom entered his ears.

"Alright then, everyone have their missions?" En spoke in a dramatic voice.

"Yes!" the other four answered.

"Good. Now then," he cleared his throat, "Men, these tasks will be dangerous! They will take us to the far corners of the Earth. There will be times when you feel like giving up, but remember what this is for! He who brings back the assigned item first will get the right to marry Kusatsu!"

Kinshiro closed the door. He returned to his desk, picked up his pen and stared at the completed forms on his desk. "I did not see that. I did not hear that. I know nothing about that." He repeated in a mantra, as Ibushi and Akoya stared at him in confusion.

Surely he was mistaken! Just the thought of Yufuin talking about m-m—he dared not think the word—made him shudder.

Curious, Akoya went over to the door, and opened it slightly. Voices from the clubroom entered his ears.

"Wouldn't Akoya-senpai be the better choice? He looks like a princess!"

"Oh? Is that who you're after then?" Ryuu teased, "I think Arima will have some objections."

"Hmm," Yumoto considered it, "Well, Wom-san's the fairest of them all anyway!"

Akoya closed the door. He returned to the couch, curled up on the side and glared at the wall. "Who does that little brat think he is?" he grumbled icily, as Ibushi watched him in confusion.

It was Yumoto, he reminded himself. That fluff-head always said the stupidest things anyway. But to call that pink rodent more beautiful than him! How _dare_ he! Akoya seethed in anger.

Curious, Ibushi went over to the door, and opened it slightly. Voices from the clubroom entered his ears.

"A human and an animal, huh?" En asked exasperated.

"Well, this kind of thing isn't that weird in fairy tales," Io pointed out, "How about "The Crane Wife"?"

"Oh yeah, I guess that could fit," Atsushi agreed, "Should we tell that one then?"

"Okay!" Yumoto agreed readily, "Atsushi-senpai, can you tell it?"

"Huh? Me? I don't remember it that well though."

"What, like that's stopped any of us? Just make it up as you go," En told him.

"Um, alright. Once upon a time…"

Ibushi closed the door. He looked at the shuddering Kinshiro and the seething Akoya, and shrugged.

He had no idea what was going on.

* * *

 **AN:** And this is what my 50th story on FF turned out to be... Thanks for reading :)

This was inspired by a Hakuouki Drama CD (in which the characters acted "The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter" (aka: Princess Kaguya's story)... I suddenly really wanted to write the Boueibu characters doing something similar.) And I like the sort of whimsical fairy tale writing style (rule of three!) this ended up having, even outside Yumoto's actual story.

Also, the tale of Yumotaro is very _very_ loosely based on Momotaro. Yumoto just got a bit carried away...


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